Alt Title: The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Etiquette
By the time you reach adulthood, you’ve probably attended multiple weddings, so you have a vague idea of what’s acceptable and what isn’t. At the same time, there are levels of ambiguity in play, since not every couple wants the same type of wedding and not all points of etiquette are formally expressed to new generations.
In this article, we’ll attempt to dispel some misconceptions, elucidate some areas of ambiguity, and generally help you feel better about how you look and act at weddings.
RSVPing
One of your first responsibilities is going to be RSVPing; in other words, you need to let the bride and groom know whether or not you’re going to attend. This is largely straightforward, but you’ll need to respect whatever deadline is in place and provide them with a formal response according to their wishes. Also, don’t assume that you have a plus one or that children are welcome; always ask if you’re in doubt.
Attire and Appearance
Next, you’ll need to think about what you’re going to wear and how you’re going to look. Your wedding invitation likely has a dress code or recommendations for what guests should wear. If you’re not sure what to wear, consult a specific wedding style guide. As long as you stay within the parameters of the stated formality level, and you don’t make it a point to attract too much attention, you’ll likely be in a good spot.
The day of, practice good hygiene and grooming so you can look your best. The bride and groom will appreciate you putting some effort into your appearance.
The Ceremony
These etiquette rules will help you get through this ceremony without committing any social faux pas:
· Arrive on time. Make sure you arrive on time. In fact, try to be early; this way, if something goes wrong, you can still guarantee appropriate timing.
· Avoid distracting the bride and groom. The bride and groom have a lot of responsibilities to take care of, and they’re probably feeling very stressed. Don’t distract them by texting or calling them, unless you know for a fact that it will be welcome. In general, try to stay out of their way during the main ceremony; you can greet them afterward and at the reception.
· Turn off your phone. It’s generally accepted to use your phone for taking photos or video of the ceremony, but if you don’t plan on doing this, turn your phone off entirely. Otherwise, silence your phone and turn off any lights so it’s not distracting.
· Be present at the ceremony. During the ceremony, avoid having conversations with your neighbors, scrolling on your phone, or otherwise looking bored or distracted. It’s your duty as a guest to remain present and engaged as a show of respect during the ceremony.
The Reception
At the reception, be sure to follow these rules:
· Bring a gift. Unless explicitly told otherwise, you should bring a gift to the reception or plan on sending one later. Many couples will have a registry, guiding guests in the type of gifts they would like to receive. As for what type of gift to bring and how much to spend, that’s ultimately up to you, especially in the absence of a registry. Try to purchase something thoughtful and practical, ideally covering the costs of your seat at the wedding and reception.
· Plan to stay. It’s a general best practice to stay throughout the duration of the wedding reception. If you must leave early, let the bride and groom know you have extenuating circumstances in advance, or at least stay until all the major events associated with the reception are over.
· Respect assigned seating. Many weddings have assigned seating. The bride and groom probably put a lot of thought into these seats, so you should respect these assignments.
· Pay attention to any venue rules in play. Depending on the venue, there may be extra rules in place that you are required to follow. Disobeying these rules could cost the bride and groom or cause a disturbance, so be sure to respect them. If there are no rules, use common sense and don’t destroy or alter anything.
· Drink in moderation. Guidelines for brides and grooms advise them to provide about one drink per person, per hour. As a guest, you should probably stay within these parameters. It’s fun to have a few drinks at the wedding to loosen up and perhaps feel more immersed in the celebration, but nobody wants to deal with a belligerent drunk on one of the most important days of their lives. Drink responsibly.
· Socialize. The bride and groom want people to socialize with each other and have fun, so try to make it easy for them by actively socializing. Be friendly with the neighbors at your table and mingle with other guests when you have the opportunity.
· Keep it positive. Keep critical or negative comments to yourself, even if something at the wedding strikes you as odd. Positivity is appreciated – and will help everyone have a better experience overall.
It may seem like there are a lot of rules and nuances to keep track of, but realistically, modern weddings tend to be relatively relaxed and casual. As long as you make an effort to look good, be genuine, and support the bride and groom, you’ll likely be considered a positive guest.
